BAKERSFIELD, Calif. (KGET) — Three months may not seem like a long time.

Three months in jail, however, can seem like forever, Wendy Howard said Monday morning outside Kern County Superior Court.

“I feel like I’m in a video game that I’m forced to keep playing,” she said.

Howard, charged with murder in her ex’s shooting, posted bail last week and was released from custody. She made a brief court appearance Monday where a scheduled hearing was postponed three weeks to allow her time to raise money for an attorney.

That also gives her time, Howard said, to try to get used to being home and being a part of her children’s lives again since her arrest in early June.

It’s not easy, though.

The 50-year-old said there’s always the sensation of a cloud hanging over her. The possibility of serving a life term in prison is never far from her mind.

Howard has been represented by attorney Tony Lidgett, but has not secured the money to retain him going forward.

On June 5, Howard shot Kelly Rees Pitts multiple times outside her house in the 400 block of Appaloosa Court after confronting him over his alleged molestation of her teenage daughter, according to court documents.

She told police she and Pitts, an ex who arrived at her house to drop off his grandson, were arguing when he drove over her foot with his quad.

She said she felt threatened, so she pulled a handgun from her waistband and shot him, according to the documents.

Pitts, 57, suffered a gunshot wound to the center of his upper chest, another through the center of his neck and a bullet graze to his cheek, according to the documents. 

Police asked why she kept firing after the first shot, and why she didn’t run inside her home. Howard said she thought she should stand her ground. Even though Pitts was not armed, she considered his hands weapons, the documents say.