"Think about your very, very worst day. You're very, very worst day in the whole world. Now multiple that times a million, times another million. That's what it's like."
Ellen Eggert has attempted suicide twice. She describes it as a deep black hole. "The only thing you're thinking about is I gotta get out of this pain and you get to the point the only answer is to die." After losing three loved ones to suicide, Eggert made it her mission to save others from the same fate.
She's a substance abuse specialist at the Mary K. Shell center. She also leads a support group for people who have lost a loved one to suicide. "We had 95 suicides last year in Kern county. It's a public health problem."
Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States but it's also the most preventable cause of death. "Some people have that feeling, I'm in a glass box, screaming and yelling about my pain, and no can hear me." Beverly Kinson, a recovery specialist says most people who commit suicide don't want to die. They just want to stop hurting.
"Become aware. Know the warning signs. Giving possessions away, somebody who's gaining weight or losing weight, sometimes their moody, someone who starts abusing alcohol or drugs. Sometimes it's mental illness, sometimes it's stress factors.
Because of the stigma and taboo attached to suicide and mental illness, people don't want to talk about it. "We can't be afraid to talk about it." Because talking about suicide, can save lives.
"You know, we're all too busy doing this, and we got crazy things, we have got to stop and take the time and really ask. and a lot of times that's enough. But we have to ask. That's the bottom line. We can't be afraid to talk about it."